Skwashy Wants You to Know This - More Horoscope Disappointment

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November 19th, 2008

09:26 am

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More Horoscope Disappointment
My horoscope in the November 17th Chron (the cutest little toy newspaper in the whole wide world!): "Don't embellish the truth because it will only cause unnecessary trouble. Just state the facts and nothing but the facts."

Well, to HECK with that. What fun is it to state only facts? They are so wet and pale. A nice crisp little embellishment or two provides texture and color and helps a narrative hold together attractively, a tasteful addition to the buffet and the pride of any hostess. And why should I be the one who has to stick to the facts? No one else seems to feel constrained to the mere drab facts. It is a fancy-free world out there, full of joy and cheerful skipping around and endless dramatic license. But here I am, wiping off the facts and setting them on their dull little shelf in a dull little row, like thick china coffee mugs.

And PLUS: what would "necessary trouble" be? Would the unnecessary kind be THAT much worse? All right. Fine. I suppose it could be. You win, troublemaker.

Way to take all the joy out of life, Chron. I HATE your horoscopes. I don't know why I have been reading them recently. I didn't like the last on either. Why do I look at that page at all? To see the bridge game? I don't play bridge. The chess game? I don't care about chess.

Wow. Coffee is really good. I had forgotten how good it is.

These were the plans I made for last weekend when my mother-in-law was here (naturally I got sick for the entire three days and was nothing but a lump of blah):

Friday: John Doe and Kathleen Edwards at the Great American Music Hall.

All right, that was wishful thinking. Yo heart John Doe, but Friday we actually planned to go to a birthday party for a friend at Wild Side West. I was a little nervous about going there because there might be strippers, but then I thought, "Wait. Strippers? I am not feeling nervous any more!"

Well, Mrs. Skwashy set me straight on that account. She said it was just an ordinary lesbian bar with no strippers and would I care to apply for the position, which I would NOT. Well, not very much anyway. I'll keep it in mind. But how disappointing.

Saturday: Theatre Flamenco "El Camino Perfecto" at the Cowell Theater at Ft. Mason.

There was a huge Anti-Prop. 8 at City Hall that day which we all went to--Mother-in-law too!--but I ended up getting dizzy and went home a little early. The brunettes stayed downtown, wandering around.

Sunday: Ice skating at the outdoor rink at Embarcadero Center.

I had forgotten that the brunettes were going to Candlestick to watch the 49ers get beaten by the Rams (the MIL's home team--I tease her by calling them the "Los Angeles Rams". Oooh does that get her mad? Hint: yes.) Well, the 49rs won.

Oh! Is anyone going to go see the San Francisco Taiko Dojo perform at Zellerbach? I want to go!

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